tiring day. went for lessons, went to chinatown and bought some sewing stuff, a couple of hiccups along the way. need god's wisdom to think, do and say certain things. so many distractions and temptations. one wrong step and 'pop' i'm sucked into the dark hole. talked to vivi last night till 3am. vivi if you're reading this, i really want you to have hope and most importantly, faith in god. trust in him with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings. i wanna challenge you. to stand up for god. really. and girl, sometimes coincidences can really be coincidences and when god's soft prompting is the one, you will know it no matter what. don't put them together and start to assume. god wants the best for you and in his timing. not ours. we have no right to assume and no, he will not tempt us with such things. get what i mean girl? i really hope that you'll accept my challenge and deny yourself. stand up for god and spread the word to the lost. we wouldn't wanna see one less soul in heaven because of laziness? pai sehness? what else? oversleeping, not discipline enough... hmm.. this applies to all...this is on my mind now. sometimes we say things but we never take action. saying is one thing, doing is another. had a sudden outburst of anger just now. was quite angry with my sister cos she played with oscar and twirl him around till he vomitted his dinner. back to the conversation with vivi. told her about me sia-ing and no its not right. and i hate it too. hate it when i sinned even when i know its wrong. couldn't help it or just brushing it off? god is really wonderful. he is so creative, so full of grace and mercy and he forgives us no matter how bad we are... that makes me feel even more guilty......

feeling: guilty
audio: when god ran - philips, craig and dean