well people, service was great!!! we've got one convert!!! shirlyn!!! yey!!! well... shall work harder for nafa... yup...yup... and my songs came out wor~ 1) you laid aside your majesty 2) you 3) this is how we overcome!!! i like today's film and sermon especially. the short film was talking about the mask we all wear... i realise i am always wearing a mask no matter what... whether in school or in church... school would be something like to conceal some stuff that i don't want people to know about me even once they start probing, i'll just pretend and smile and say that everything is fine-but i'm so not... church would be... a black face... it's a mask to make me look as if i don't care about anything in the world even if the sky drops, cool about every single thing and it's somehow something to conceal the fact that i'm afraid of certain issues that i would rather avoid, not face them and to make me look fierce and tough...is that the 2 words to describe? well...you know what i mean lah... because of some issues that happened when i was attending my old church... well secondly, if you see me not smiling... tell me to SMILE and SHOW MY TEETH :D !!!have certain issues in my life that i want to change... pride is the ultimate one... speech and thinking... we all sinned every single day, every hour, every minute and every second... we are all more accountable for the things we do as a christian... sometimes i really want to just quit and just leave all the things for others to pick up... but i realise i can't, god's grace really amazes me... so many things too... god is so real and all omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient... yup... sermon... so many people that i don't wanna meet... would rather 'siam' them or just pretend that i don't know them... i think today's sermon is really power man... really spoke to a lot of people... i'm quite guilty of the stuff that pastor jeff said... quite a few surprises today, first, i found out that my class has got a couple of christians and one of them is a drummer for her band! power sia! another one was bumping into dewen at the mrt station who's also rushing to get to prayer meet... another one was receiving this photo and a small note written by sean and sybelle (my baby god-siblings)!!! and another one which made my eyes nearly drop out - aroon actually remember to write to me!!! was very happy that he wrote, though his english was quite hard to understand (he's from thai) and he's still calling me zhang lang (cockroach)... -_-' because i told him that oscar ate a cockroach thus the name...lastly, ying called me... she's was crying i think... haiz... hopefully the thing that i wanted to happened did not really happened... well i'm not contradicting myself i think but somehow... well...there's a season for everything...maybe she might be staying over at my house tonight... shall have a heart to heart talk... i heard from perd that some of the groups are fasting from icq? i think i shall do that too... really got a lot of assignments to do... realise some stuff that reminded me of the few weeks before 4th feb... that someone can really become dependent on the other person when that someone becomes physically or mentally unstable... mentally not as in crazy or what but maybe got some illness or what... how some people can be superman or superwomen but later sitting on a wheelchair or bed ridden the next... why am i talking about this??? must appreciate all the things around me... pasotr jeff came up to me and hint to me that he likes to eat ravioli... heh heh heh hinting huh... bought reese chocolates today... great, shared about half with ron... i remembered...hrr hrr gonna spoil you soon huh... heh heh... a lot of things of my mind now that's kinda weighing me down... doubts about some stuff... not enough understanding... goodness... hopefully that issue will not start again... if not i'm a goner this time... _ _ _ i miss ya so much you know... where are you now? how come and why this... god why... sometimes i really don't understand and i just get so frustrated on why this must happened to me... a pure heart for god... a repentant one too... one who will not be ashamed to stand up for god...

feeling: numb
audio: heart of worship - hillsong