Each of these really appeared in some church's bulletin:

Thursday night -- Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

This being Easter, we will ask Mrs Johnson to come forward and lay and egg on the altar.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.

The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

somemore to come...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You go on strike because you want 3 cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
You sign a 40 year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decides you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows.
Your 2 cows retire together with the PM.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.