yes people... yesterday's sermon was especially nourishing for the soul amen? i have been really... i mean... REALLY afraid to take the first step to evax... scared of rejection... scared of how people will see me as... scared of this and that... yup... didn't turn up for prayer meet and WFL cos i had school... so i missed out on the lesson of fasting... yup... shall ask perd later... then as i was saying... was late for service too cos yes... of school again... then from there i was pretty tired... but somehow... i stayed awake... yup... then when pastor jeff was speaking... i felt really enlightened... i meant some times we really want to... or should i say give up immediately when we met our first rejection or when our contacts *fang aeroplane* one or all at a go... was thinking about the three pointers... (1) god created us to lead a purposeful life. (2) god gives us momentum (3) god backs us up with divine abilities. really don't want to stumble anyone out there but i kinda backslided. was up to the neck with my projects until to a point... i was quite frustrated with everything and everyone out there... include some dear friends... im so sorry to all my Bs ( babees )... my heart was heavy... my classmates was kinda saying some stuff about jesus and me... calling me some names... sometimes... i acted and sound and even type as though i'm fine or even happy... then the thing is... funny how contradicting... no matter how bad things were i never stop rejoicing... as in... i think the positive way... yes the bottle is still half filled... from the bottom of my heart... yes... as in... sometimes when my classmates starts to call me some names, i can really ignore them and still smile and play with them instead of getting really angry and start having the *hmph, don't friend you and speak to the hand* mentality... and also... it's really frustrating that my classmates don't get what i'm trying to put across... sometimes... just plainly talking about christianity and recently about the hillsong concert can cause some unhappy words spreading around... well... what can i say... ignore and smile lor... really sometimes i really don't wanna smile or even try to look as if i'm not in a bad mood... but when it's not from your heart, it's hard... how should i put it... its more like very hyprocrital lor... ya but there's no need to so call pollute the black face thingy around... ya... then during service was thinking about some really nasty thoughts... really nasty... hmph. shall not elaborate but even thinking about the nasty thoughts kinda puts me off that how come i can even think about it in the first place. then its like... sometimes... i'm really afraid to ask my friends to service and i'm more comfy with calling my christian friends who are serving in another church to come for our service instead of calling the non believers... why? is it because i'm stepping out of my comfort zone and stepping into a alienated zone? went for our CG404 meeting with jasmine... she said some stuff that made me wake up and stop nuahing or rather... SLACKING... it's like for even once in our life... we must at least lead a cg... *How To Grow From 1 person To A Caregroup*= Therefore Go And Make Disciples, Do SOW. as in SOW while you are eating... while taking the life ( maybe talk to some young chap or gal ) while washing hands in the toilet,while eating in the foodcourt, walking in the library... one statistic that she told us... this is SCARY. hey hey hey listen... every 1 second yes you heard it right.... every 1 second... 3 people passed away... hey what if they are non believers? people... the month of september is the month of harvest and i just came back from DMM. and our target for this month is 15. perd told me just 1 for NAFA. though its only one.... like *hai di lao zhen* but well... on the other side out of the whole school to find just 1 its not hard... ya... then i had a great time fellowshiping with ash today... then after that i went off to have dinner with my family ya... well... i was quite surprised cos my sister bought me 2 pairs of earrings and i'm a sucker for earrings... and i was quite shocked somehow... then i had a good time talking to her in the car while we both stink like fish cos we just came back from the stall... then she told me that she wanna go shopping next week... then im like OK. then she was very attentive to me whilst i was talking... somehow... ya... miss the time when we ( my sisters and i ) sat down and had a talk together... ya... she even asked me whats care group for and what we do there then i explain then she's ok... hmmm.... alrights... then i told her im going for DMM later she said ok. when i called her after the DMM and ask whether she can come and pick me up she said ok...sometimes... usually... the answer i get is some FOR WHAT? NO! NO TIME! oh wells... yeah... and yey family day coming!!! our theme is yellow!!! shall blind the high school people!!! muhahahahaha * evil laughter cum thought* and yey!!! sisterhood come to mama * jaime are you reading this?* hehs ok people.... shall burn the midnight oil and do my project liao... tmr is sleeping day!!! that is after i finish my project lah... haha...yey!!! tmr got this korean show called happy girl's diary!!! i got so crazy over this series i went out the moment the show finish to buy the vcd so that i can finish watching it ASAP... anyone who likes it can borrow from me!!! strongly recommended!!!

feeling: rejuvenated
audio: luo han yu hitting themselves silly against the tank... O_o