hi i'm back. promised perd long time ago about the way i type my entries. anyways... been busy with projects and meetings... thus not being able to find the time to post any entries...

service was great... pastor jeff is so encouraging... i didn't know he was so unwilling... well... that kinda tell us that we should start doing something for our campus and courses right? worship was excellant too... i've always wanted to kneel down and give my all but somehow the pride and paisehness in me kinda stop me from doing that... and also i guess because i stupidly erased all my christian lyrics songs so it's like it's been monkey years ever since i got to hear some PnW songs... i mean i can sing but no i don't wanna see any police coming to my door saying that i'm disturbing the neigbours hahaha... i really want - more more of You Lord x 2 i want to hold you love you not let you go renew this fire thats within my soul i want more more of you lord - ooohhh i can never get enough of you my lord... i wonder what i'll be doing now if i didn't get to know christ in jan 2002... why do weekends have to end so soon? can't we have service everyday? oh man... i really want to see Him soon ( not in dying way lah )so that we'll be able to do that everyday~

something that i have been facing... really have to thank god from the bottom of my heart about this classmate whom he planted in my class. her name is liqing. i guess god place her besides me to mould, sculpt, train, teach me the meaning of patience and tolerance and learning to love people more. and boy... her words, her snide remarks are so hurting... she's does that to the whole class but i guess i took it more personally. as a christian we should love one another but when i face her and when i reached my ultimate limit of tolerations... i nearly brokedown and cried. from the time when she said _ _ _ _ head to me and speak to my _ _ _... i've had it enough to make me go bursting with rage. boy am i surprised with myself when i still can answer her smiling... but i was boiling and about to erupt soon ( tsk tsk tsk... no good ) but well... no matter what... i'll be facing her tmr and i will face her with a smiley face and heart... i guess i do really need to love people more, i really find it hard to love people sometimes...oh wells...

went for meeting at far east with peiru, jiayi and the other two people names whom i have forgotten... i think it's rachel and boliath ( trust me it's not goliath but something that starts with bo and sounds like liath )... peiru is sooo lame and hahaha jiayi is so shy ( people who knows jiayi sure will be amused one ) hahaha really had a great time planning and brainstorming... we went to a turkish eatery and i reallly wanted to order a doner but because i gave my all for the fund and such... i was broke so i settled down for an ice cream instead... but god blessed me when i got home... my maid was still up and she heated up the remaining dinner for me... wow...it's really wonderful to be able to attend meetings and lessons... it's so fulfilling and meaningful rather then gallivanting around yup... yeah~ will be meeting jiayi soon but i will have to miss out the meeting again on thursday because lessons will be brought forward...

a couple of things on my mind... first is about this friend of mine whom i admit i have been avoiding due to an sms... i was scared to talk or even look at my friend in the eye because i was too concern about how people will think and misinterpret... this friend kinda sensed it and i feel really guilty about it... and the thing about me fasting from icq and msn makes it worse and makes my friend thinks that i'm avoiding my friend in on/offline which is untrue!!! but anyways... i really treat this friend as a listener but somehow people thinks otherwise... the wind has died down so i will be speaking to this person soon provided i will not be busy lah... so friend if you're reading this... i hope you understand... and my conscious is transparent clear so nothing can beat that...

i have this best friend since sec 1 but our friendship is going downhill... last week as both of us met at a junction going to school... we just said hi and mumbled some stuff then poff... gone... how did it turn out this way? is it because i have no time for her? or is it that her boyfriend previously said some stuff to me? or is it simply because we don't see eye to eye anymore... we don't even talk anymore... except sometimes occasionally a hi or bye... everytime we meet, did we kinda pretended that everything is going well between us and the truth is it is not going well at all and we're both just kinda too polite to say it out or maybe we just didn't want to admit it... friendship is not about talking or hanging out together 24/7 but built on a mutual trust that i don't find it in our friendship anymore. it's kinda sad when i think about the times i let her down and vice versa... i started having the time of my life in church while she will come to me with her problems which i find it perfectly ok to tell and confide in me but when i tell her that life is not always about relationships and clubbing... i guess that kinda set us apart liao... i cannot blame her because she doesn't have god in her life. YET. but i'm still waiting for the day she'll accept christ.

on wed when i was having cg... while praying i sensed something about my sheep mate... then after that when i got home i read someone's blog and i sense something immediately... then later i found out that both turned out to what i sensed. yesterday during service i sensed something again about a sister's family but i didn't say anything... got to tell my perd soon... i'm not sure with whats spiritual giftings so hence i'll be attending wfl's spiritual and giftings class... giftings doesn't have to be gift of prohesy, gift of discernment, gift of tongues only... gift of giving, mercy are also equally important. yes... really looking forward to the class to really learn more...

this verse is stuck in my head like a chewing gum...

acts 20:24
however, i consider my life worth nothing to me, if only i may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of god's grace.

we often feel that life is a failure unless we're getting a lot out of it; recognition ( there are some people in church who are find security by basking in the limelight and seeking attention ), fun, money, success. but paul considered life worth nothing unless he used it for god's work. what he put into life was far more important than what he got out. * which is more important to you - what you get out of life, or what you put into it? * single-mindedness is a quality needed by anyone who wishes to do god's work. paul was a single-minded person and the most important goal in his life was to tell others about Christ ( phillipians 3:7-14 ). it is no wonder that paul was the greatest missionary who ever lived. god is looking for more men and women who will focus on that one great task god has given them to do.

( phillipians 3:7-14 < But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. > )

people... please pray for my 2 ulcers to heal... one is about to grow soon cos i can feel it... the other one has been making me tear... it's growing underneath my tongue and i can't brush my teeth without tearing... it's hurting me...

one cold cold cold lame so called joke...

conversations between me and kevin ( my classmate )

germ: im a teochew ah nia... hahaha
kevin: im hakka cum teochew... so that makes me a hachew...

feeling: pain...
audio: eternity - robbie williams