john 8:32

then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

the first step is always the hardest. coming back from a dry season that lasted ever since june wasnt exactly the best memory lane i want to remember. but i finally did it. i always asked God to take all that's holding me down when actually thats the very thing that i've been holding on and refusing to let go of; past memories, past hurts and bitterness. after months of condemning myself and blaming people around me, making up all sorts of excuses and only listening to things that i want to hear, it all became clear that i was trying all ways to avoid the simple truth. which ironically, the truth is the only thing that set me free in the end.

romans 8:1-4

therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. for what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. and so he condemned sin in sinful man in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

those months of wandering in the desert, living behind a facade and running away from a set of biblical rules to follow, i forced and made myself numb to everything, became spiritually degenerated and followed a set of rules which i set up for myself which i think it's rationally or consciously right when in fact it's an avoidence/refusal to what the holy spirit tells me to do. i do not want to enter into that very phase of life that is living without God again.

to the very person i've been thinking of the whole week (you know who you are), what's said has been said and what's done has been done. i'm sorry; for hurting and pushing all the blame to you. but i want to thank you because you're the one who has been helping me the most. i can't promise you anything but i will try my best to walk closer to God everyday.

that very guise has finally broken down. and i've finally found what i've been looking for. its my journey back to the Father.

:: Dad, i'm coming home ::